


Heart of Cinder

by CasualGravity



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Canonical Character "Death", Gen, Organization XIII But Make Them Creachers, Wordcount: 500-1.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:27:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CasualGravity/pseuds/CasualGravity
Summary: Death is natural for him... just not like this.My piece for theFrom the Asheszine, which has completed its run.
Relationships: Axel & Roxas (Kingdom Hearts), Axel & Saïx (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4
Collections: From the Ashes: A LeAxel zine





	Heart of Cinder

It’s over before Lea can even think to defend himself. The strange blade carves the fledgling ember of his heart from his chest and all of the fear and uncertainty of the previous days with it. He is, for the briefest moment, unburdened. 

And then the cold seeps in, rushing to fill the space where his heart used to _burn_ until it’s like there was never anything there at all. 

Xehanort becomes Ansem becomes Xemnas and he gives _Axel_ a name to match. A black coat bends him into a shape that’s useful and stone bones tether him to the earth. His feathers fall away, leaving him with nothing but fragile human skin. This is a death, he knows—something reserved for things that are finite, unlike him.

Unlike all of them.

They’re creatures incapable of mourning what they’ve lost though and Xemnas is incapable of pity. He looks upon them with his placid, stolen face and promises their hearts to them if they would only follow him; if they would only build what needs to be built. 

What can Axel do, but follow?  


~*~

  
“You know we’ll have to play along,” Saïx says, his gold eyes watching Axel’s fingers as he rakes deep burns into the low table in front of him. The whole lounge smells blackened. It keeps the Lesser things away though; you don’t need a heart to fear fire.

“Do icky jobs for No-Face? I think I’ll pass.” He cycles through several smiles before deciding a frown is more dismissive. They’ve already spent months under the prying eyes of their elders. Axel’s not interested in any more scrutiny. It’s hard to see how anything they do will get them closer to being whole again anyway.

Saïx bares his teeth.

“There are thirteen seats and only eight of us now. We won’t be on the bottom rung forever. We might as well make use of our time.”

Axel doesn’t trust Saïx. He doesn’t have heart enough to trust anyone. But he remembers trusting Isa.

“Alright.”  


~*~

  
There’s nothing good or easy about what he does. His inexperience makes him sloppy and that almost proves fatal on more than one occasion. Eventually though, he learns how to whisper in the right ears and dig his talons into the right conflicts. When subterfuge won’t cut it, he sheds his coat and watches entire worlds fall away in the shadow of his wings.

Sometimes he thinks that he should feel shame, but that’s been beyond him for a long time. 

Axel dirties his hands for years before another coat is brought into the fold—this one reeking of fresh water and weeds. Ten, Eleven and Twelve follow in quick succession, but the charm of seeing new faces around the Castle fades quickly. With the brunt of his menial tasks left to newcomers, Axel moves up and moves on.

Until Thirteen is dropped unceremoniously into his care; a blank slate wearing a face Axel remembers from a lifetime ago and carrying a familiar Key. Mentoring Roxas isn’t the hardship that Axel expects it to be. The kid’s quiet, but he takes to the tasks he’s given with startling ease. Simple. 

The questions are more difficult.  


~*~

  
Wisps of steam linger for a few moments in the memory of Twilight Town’s sun before fading. He watches enviously as the last remains of a man he’s known most of his life vanish forever.

“What _are_ you people?!” Sora’s voice hitches, his blue eyes glassy and frightened. None of the answers Axel could give seem like the right one anymore. They certainly wouldn’t provide any comfort.

“Don’t know.” Somewhere in the hollow of his ribs, he feels a spark like flint striking steel. A flash of warmth fills him and dissipates. He’s cold again. “I wonder about that myself.”

He leaves Sora with that. He has a task to complete. There isn’t time to ponder things that stopped mattering years ago.  


~*~

  
Axel’s learned to expect all kinds of questions when Roxas or X̷͓̓ĭ̸͓o̷̫̊n̴̡͋ seek him out with those pensive little frowns. He doesn’t, however, expect Roxas to sit morosely in his usual spot and ask him about love.

“‘Scuse me?” He gives his friend a stunned smile, at a loss for any other reaction. The lingering salty-sweet taste of the ice cream Axel had been eating before goes bitter. 

“I found out about love on today’s mission—that it’s something powerful.” Roxas states quietly. There’s a note of incredulity in his voice. 

“That’s true. It is,” Axel bites harshly into his ice cream, relishing the way it almost sizzles on his tongue. He’s been running hot for weeks now, the chill of the last ten years a fading memory like all the rest. The warmth will pass though. It always does. “But I’ll never get to experience it.”  


~*~

  
Roxas and.. and... Roxas is gone.  


~*~

  
Saïx wrenches Lunatic free, the blade coming away red-hot, as if he’d plunged it into the belly of a forge. He’s saying something, sharp words Axel can’t hear over Kairi and the roaring in his ears. It’s been a long time since he’s hurt like this, but adding another failure to his growing collection hurts worse.

Panicked, Axel summons a Corridor and hurls a fistful of fire between himself and the moondrunk remains of his oldest friend. 

“I promise I’ll get you out of there…” He calls weakly to Kairi. 

With Saïx screaming at his back, he flees.  


~*~

  
A shudder passes through the horde, instinct warring with their compulsion to obey the Superior. Sora doesn’t know what’s coming, but _they_ do.

It starts between his lungs. Little embers stoked to conflagration with every breath—too weak to ever be a heart, but strong enough to consume. He isn’t certain of how much of him will be there to climb out of the black and cinder or if he’ll even manage to make a difference, but this is all he can do. 

Axel feels the old, familiar sting of tears and then he burns.

This is a death.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been months but this is still one of my favorite things that I've ever written, even if it's on the shorter side. The project itself was a fantastic experience as well. 
> 
> I had intended to expand this before posting but, well, 2020 continued to happen and I could never really find the time. Eventually, I would LOVE to come back to this some day and play with the other ideas that I had to cut to stay at the right word count.


End file.
